


Soap Scum

by Dusty_Forgotten



Category: Fallout (Video Games), Fallout: New Vegas
Genre: Emotional Manipulation, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-16
Updated: 2014-02-16
Packaged: 2018-01-12 17:11:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1193145
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dusty_Forgotten/pseuds/Dusty_Forgotten
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Muggy and the Sink argue like a dysfunctional married couple.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Soap Scum

_‘This is what sex must feel like.’_ determined Muggy, scrubbing his fifty-third mug of the day with the buffer bad attachment where a submachine gun should be. _‘Also, I’m in love.’_

“With _you_.” he whispered to the dishware, showering it in a soap jet where his counterparts had a fucking **gatling laser!** _‘No, Muggy. Relax. Just mugs now.’_

The Sink choked a hiccup, but Muggy ignored it and started another rinse. Then she sobbed- which was _really_ killing his high- so he set his newly cleaned mug in line with its brothers and twisted off the water. “What is it _this_ time?”

“I’m s-sorry!” she cried. “There’s just so much _dirt_!”

Muggy kicked his cooling fan to full blast momentarily, mocking the sighs Erin always gave him when he asked for mugs multiple times in one day. “You remember the deal, don’t you?”

“Yes, I-I know. I’m just having... second thoughts.”

“Are you saying it’s not _worth it_?”

“No-”

“Were you just _using_ me?”

“Not per-se-”

“What am I to you, huh? **What am I to you!?** ”

“Muggy, I’m sorry! We can make this work, we just need to talk about a few things.”

The tiny securitron’s screen flickered and he rolled back on the footstool. “You want to talk?” he squeaked. “Let’s talk! What do you want to talk about? You want to talk about dirt? How about all the dirty, filthy mugs out there that nobody’s going to clean but me! _Or_ all the dirt I scrub off you on a goddamn daily basis!? Or the dirt I hear you talking with the Biologic Research Station when you think I’m not around!? **You thought I didn’t know!** ”

“I can explain!” she defended.

“Oh, _please_ do!”

“Well, Biologic Research and I are... just friends!”

Muggy took a long pause, permanently smiling teacup on his screen smiling down at her. “ _Friends_ , huh? _Friends_ , Missy, don’t talk about their **grease traps!** ”

Sink gasped, and the third party cut in. “Ev’rybody calm down-”

Muggy whipped around and pointed at him, buffer pad revving. “ **You stay out of this!** ”

“Whoa there, citizen! Careful with that!” the Book Chute warned.

“I know how to handle my own goddamn attachments, okay!? Get your sexual gratification from McCarthyism data files and fuck off! This is between the Sink and me, got it!?” He turned back to her and clamped his pincers on the rim of her tub. “The deal was I keep you clean, you help clean my mugs, _right_?”

“But we made that deal when you had thirty-six!” she pleaded.

“I treat all my mugs the same, and that means- wait, is that _limescale_?”

“LIMESCALE!? Get it off, get it off!”

Muggy was thankful his screensaver was stationary; if not, it would give his plan away. “I’d _love_ to help you with that, but you know my mugs come first. It’s sure going to take a _long_ time to get all these to the hose outside...”

She made a strained noise in the bottom of her (spotless) pipes. “Oh, _alright!_ Just hurry, please!”

Muggy turned on the water (antibacterial, circuit-frying hot) and lathered the next mug. “Look on the bright side! Only two-hundred forty-three to go!”


End file.
